Friday, January 26, 2007
i dno but im feeling okay so far... as in i dno why life has been throwing mi loads of horrible stuff in an instant.. i dont really care abt superficial affairs animore.. as in i dont haf the heart to care... aniwaes in dis world.. i do realise dat it's onli the few pple i truly open up to.. the pple hu truly unds mi n noe wen i need dem... the rest.. i dont give a crapshit whether u like mi forthright personality..
basically.. im still pissed at u.. but i dont really care now honestly speaking.. u can go play ur own stupid game by urself which i haf gotten sick of.. i haf better things to do i realise.. n yes.. i noe dat even thou i say dis.. deep in mi heart i care alot.. but seriously.. at dis pointa time.. i got better things to care abt.. more serious affairs to get involved wif.. n it's nt the time to play such puppy *** games wif u lah
u told mi today becosi forced it outta u.. in a sense.. at fers i really hated u for keeping it frm mi.. n me not being the fers person to noe wad happened.. becos.. i tot i had the right to noe.. n u failed to realise dat wadeva dat happens to u.. will haf a large impact on mi too.. i dint unds why u jus couldn tell mi.. but later u told mi becos u dint wan mi to worry.. i backed down.. i had tried going wifout u.. but i realised i lost the sense of security.. the familiarity.. i felt veri empty.. n i alr told u b4.. i couldn bear at the tot of u leaving alr.. n the tot of it makes mi cry alr.. i toked to u abt it b4.. i dont wan anithing to happen to u u unds.. nth mus happen to u.. if u dont get it eventually.. den i wouldn wan it either.. everything would be meaningless.. getting it would be meaningless.. no matter wad happens.. even waves n waves of unfortunate events cum charging at u.. dont give up.. stay strong.. wad was all dat hard work for.. i'll b dere too... n i hope.. dis time.. mi presence will make a diference to u.. jus like how u made a difference to mi life for the past 3 months(:
jasmin eva once said to me.. dont cry becos it happened too late..
smile becos it happened
even so.. i noe dat in the end.. the devastation ill b gng thru is inevitable eventually.. i onli hope to prolong the time we haf tgt now... till we say goodbye..